fears — Blog

So, I've been thinking a lot lately about this writing thing. Every time someone asks me what I write, I usually say either one of two things. One, "Oh, girly stuff." Two, "It's kinda, sorta romantic comedy."

Comedy.

I was writing away the other day when I found myself giggling over something my main character said. And then I stopped and wondered...what if I'm not funny?

I mean, *I* think I'm funny. Sometimes. But what if I'm the only one? I can't really say I write romantic comedy if there's nothing funny about my stories!

Needless to say, this has been bugging me ever since. I'm scrutinizing every line I write, looking for the funny. And I'm genuinely worried that I'm lame. Super lame. Lame-O.

Am I the only one who has fears like this? How do you shove them aside and forge on?

Okay, so I've been writing since 6:30 this morning. I'm training on new equipment for work today and I got here early -- this store doesn't have WiFi, so I figured I would have some prime writing time. I did find a public connection I must be picking up from the restaurant next door, but it keeps dropping and isn't strong enough to keep me good and distracted. So...I've been writing all morning.

I just passed the 97k mark. Mari is in her eighth month of pregnancy and things between her and Zander are getting more complicated by the word. My never-ending novel is about to reach its climax -- the birth of Mari's baby. I've never written anything like the birth of a child. I'd rather write steamy sex scenes all day long. But this isn't the kind of book I can fill cover to cover with sex (although that might be fun to write) so there is no getting out of this scene. I'm sure I'll manage alright. I've done lots and lots of reading and research. And I've got a couple friends who've had babies, so I can always pass it over to them for input. I'm just...nervous.

I'm psyching myself out. I know this scene means that I'm almost finished with my first draft, but I don't want to reach it. I'm afraid I'll keep writing filler to avoid the birth of this baby, which will only make revisions WAY harder! I only have two chapters left in my outline to write -- the next one is The One with the Birth. Maybe I could just write *insert baby being born here* and then continue on to the next chapter? But, no. That would be cowardly. If I'm going to forge my way through this first draft, I'm going to do it in its entirety. No skimping or skating here. I WILL write that birth scene, darn it!

Do you ever get nervous about a scene you have to write? Whether it's a birth scene, a sex scene or something else entirely? How do you get passed the nerves to write it? Do you just close your eyes and go, or do you meticulously plan out every syllable until you have such a strict guideline for the scene it's impossible to mess up?