I'm Still Here

Last week wrapped up what turned out to be the most hellish semester I've had since I started college. It wasn't necessarily that the classes were hard, even though they were. No, it was everything else surrounding me that made my life hell.

Remember how Dana and I had taken the leap and decided to buy a house? Well, we found one. It was the last one we were scheduled to see and the moment we walked in, we knew. It's beautiful and charming and nearly everything we wanted in a house. I'll share pictures soon -- I've got my own office and it's so pretty!


But, of course, that meant that we had to move. And while we'd been packing in preparation for a couple months beforehand, it was still overwhelming when the day came. The following days weren't any less hectic. There was painting and rearranging and unpacking to be done. Oh, and a dog that just wouldn't adjust to his new surroundings.

I'd also been working 45-50 hours a week in the meantime, due to some unexpected circumstances.

So, all of these components, combined with the dreaded Math Class, left me stressed to the max.

I passed that class. With a C, which surprised the heck outta me. I will never again take another math class. You can quote me on that!

So...yay! Freedom! I'm not taking any classes over the summer, so I'm looking forward to catching up on my reading and getting back to writing. My writing group has been so patient these last few months. I haven't written anything, revised anything or submitted anything to my group since...heck, I don't remember when. Our next meeting is this Sunday...maybe I can whip something up in time?

We shall see.

In the meantime, what's up with all you lovely folks? How's the writing? Read any good books lately?



IWSG: L is for Lame



So, I've been thinking a lot lately about this writing thing. Every time someone asks me what I write, I usually say either one of two things. One, "Oh, girly stuff." Two, "It's kinda, sorta romantic comedy."

Comedy.

I was writing away the other day when I found myself giggling over something my main character said. And then I stopped and wondered...what if I'm not funny?

I mean, *I* think I'm funny. Sometimes. But what if I'm the only one? I can't really say I write romantic comedy if there's nothing funny about my stories!

Needless to say, this has been bugging me ever since. I'm scrutinizing every line I write, looking for the funny. And I'm genuinely worried that I'm lame. Super lame. Lame-O.



Am I the only one who has fears like this? How do you shove them aside and forge on?


Insecure Writers Support Group


So, this is my first post for the Insecure Writers Support Group. There are a million insecurities that come with being a writer, so I'm not sure where to start.

The biggest insecurity that I've been battling lately has to do with time. When I sit down to work on my novel, there's always a voice in the back of my mind, taunting, teasing, being an all-around jerkface, telling me that I'm wasting my time.

And after hearing it for so long, it's hard to not listen.

So, I've been wondering: Am I wasting my time? Is there something else I should be focusing on? Something more important? Something that will have a for-sure payoff in the end? Is it time to be a grown up and get my head out of the clouds?

I have put a lot of time, a lot of heart and soul, anger and tears, into my writing. The novel that I'm currently working on has gone through many different versions over the last 7 years or so. But I keep coming back to it. Why? Because I love the characters. I love the story. I want to give it the attention it deserves. And I'm getting there. I can feel it. But at what cost? A few sleepless nights spent typing away like a maniac? A couple hours spent revising the latest chapter instead of studying for my math test? An afternoon spent in a coffee house with my writing group instead of at home cleaning the house?

How do you decide if you're spending each hour the way you should be spending it? How do you know whether or not all the time and effort you're pouring into this make-believe world on your computer screen is worth it? How do you know?

Truth is, I don't. It's scary to think about putting so much of me into this thing that may or may not amount to something worthwhile in the future.

So, how do you battle that fear? How do you keep pushing forward despite the insecurities?


Goodbye, 2012

There are roughly four and a half hours until 2012 comes to a close. How was your year? Did you accomplish all you'd hoped to? Did you learn a few lessons, take a few falls, learn to pick yourself up, dust off and move on?

What about your writing? Did you finally finish that novel you've been working on? Did you get through the muck of revisions and come out on the other side with a shiny, beautiful draft? Did you finally dip your toes in the querying waters?

It's this time of year that I usually recap my goals from last year and determine whether or not I made them. Well, I looked back at my Revolutions post from last year and...I didn't make any. Weird, huh?

So instead of my usual New Year's post, I thought I'd share with you what I've accomplished this year, and what I hope to accomplish next year.

One of the biggest things I accomplished in 2012 was getting my driver's license. It took me years to get over my fear of getting behind the wheel, and in March, I finally passed my road test. Now, I drive all over town. I can't believe it took me so long, and I definitely can't imagine going to back to living without it!

Over the Summer, I joined a writing group, Pigasus Pen. It's my first one, and I cannot fathom being in a different one. The three girls in my group are all wonderful and amazingly talented and genuinely nice people. I've already learned so much from each of them, and I look forward to every one of our meetings in 2013. May the year bring The End to each of our stories and the beginning to new ones, as we send our babies out into the world. Thank you,

Jeannie

,

Christina

&

Victoria

for all your knowledge and patience and talent. And thank you for sharing this writing journey with me. I am lucky to have you ladies!

As a result of my wonderful writing group, I have made a ton of progress on my Work-in-Progress. You know the one. The five-plus-years-in-progress novel, that's gone through many different phases, from Harlequin-esque to slapstick to a workable contemporary romantic comedy. I have learned a lot throughout writing this particular story, and even more once I started sharing it with my group. It's changed POVs, Chapter One's, and Scene Order, just in the last six months. I'm getting somewhere, though. I can feel it. And I can't wait to read the final product!

I think that sums up the high points of 2012 for me -- a great year, I'd say!

As for 2013...what does it have in store? What would I like to accomplish? Hmm...

I'd like to pass the gosh darn math class I'm taking this upcoming semester. It's the last credit I need to obtain my Associate's Degree. Then, I'd like to get started on my Bachelor's.

As for my writing goals...I'd like to keep on the track that I'm on right now, with regular revisions and continuous improvement. I'd like to come up with an outline for the novel that's been niggling in the back of my mind for the last few months. And I'd like to read more than I did this year.

I have also decided to steal an idea I saw online somewhere. I'm starting Good Things Jar - each time something good happens, we'll write it down on a slip of paper and put it in the jar. On New Year's Eve next year, we'll pull them out and read them. I think it's a cool idea, and I can't wait to fill the jar!

Those goals sound feasible, right?

So, what about you? What are your goals for 2013? Let's hear 'em!

NaNo-Envy


It's officially NaNoWriMo season, and I must admit - I'm a wee bit jealous of all of you who are participating. With every NaNo-related blog post or status update I see on the internet, I sigh and think, "I wish that was me."

I know it's for the best that I sit this one out, but I just can't help but feel envious. NaNoWriMo saved my writing aspirations. The rush of competing against such a mad deadline brought the fire back to my writing. And I love every second of every day in November. Even when I'm stressed out and thousands of words behind, I'm loving it.

I'm sad. But on the other hand, I'm thrilled. Because of NaNoWriMo, I am writing again. Because of NaNoWriMo, I have this completed draft to work on and make beautiful. Because of NaNoWriMo, my dream is alive again. And, with this draft, I'm so much closer to making that dream a reality.

So, yeah. I'm sad. But I'm also grateful for the experience, and I will be grateful forever.

With that in mind, I wish all of you crazy dreamers out there who are participating in NaNoWriMo this November all the luck in the world. I hope this month brings you all the fantastic things that NaNoWriMo gave to me.


Dear Taylor


When I was younger, I was a huge music snob. Which is to say, I turned up my nose at anyone who could merely carry a tune. I liked "real singers." LeAnn Rimes (hello? Have you HEARD this girl sing?), Mariah Carey, Whitney, Celine, etc. I also searched out well-written songs and compiled a list of the best songwriters. My ears would scream in protest anytime the likes of Britney, Christina (who can sing, but her songs were...eh), or any of those boy bands came on the radio.

As I've grown up, I've gotten over the snobbery. Oh, I still appreciate a kick-ass vocalist and a gorgeous song, but I've also grown fond of Britney and the occasional cheesy pop song. Even so, my ears resisted Taylor Swift.

Oh, sure. Her songs are catchy. And she's freaking adorable. But songs about high school love and angst? Pssh, no thanks.

But the more popular this girl got, the more her songs assaulted me from the radio, the more curious I became. And so I listened. Actually listened. And you know what I discovered? This girl is a writer. Beneath those catchy hooks and Britney-esque singing voice, there are real-live, well-written songs. Beautifully crafted stories. Ms. Taylor Swift is one helluva storyteller.


So, today I'm going to share with you some of my favorite lyrics:

The way you move is like a full on rainstorm
And I'm a house of cards
You're the kind of reckless
That should send me runnin'
But I kinda know that I won't get far
from "Sparks Fly"

Music starts playin' like the end of a sad movie,
It's the kinda ending you don't really wanna see.
Cause it's tragedy and it'll only bring you down,
Now I don't know what to be without you around.
from "Breathe"

I sneak in and see your friends
And her snotty little family all dressed in pastel
And she is yelling at a bridesmaid
Somewhere back inside a room
Wearing a gown shaped like a pastry
from "Speak Now" (a particularly fun song that fits my Work-in-Progress perfectly)

And then the cold came, the dark days when fear crept into my mind
You gave me all your love and all I gave you was "Goodbye"
from "Back to December"

But sophistication isn't what you wear or who you know
Or pushing people down, it gets you where you wanna go
They wouldn't teach you that in prep school so it's up to me
But no amount of vintage dresses gives you dignity
from "Better Than Revenge"

Walls of insincerity,
Shifting eyes and vacancy
Vanished when I saw your face
from "Enchanted"

You paint me a blue sky
And go back and turn it to rain
And I lived in your chess game
But you changed the rules everyday
Wonderin’ which version of you I might get on the phone, tonight
Well I stopped pickin’ up and this song is to let you know why
from "Dear John" (I actually love this entire song)

Wasn't it easier in your firefly-catchin' days?
When everything out of reach, someone bigger brought down to you
Wasn't it beautiful runnin' wild 'til you fell asleep
Before the monsters caught up to you?
from "Innocent" (another song I love all the way through)

I could go on. It would seem that I've recently become a wee bit obsessed. I just find it fascinating, this superficial, teeny-bopper persona paired up with these songs that are just so well-written and, at times, pretty darn deep.

So, what do you think? Do you like Taylor Swift? What do you think of the lyrics I've shared? Who do YOU think is a fabulous storyteller?


NaNoWriMo Season is Upon Us



I love this time of year. The leaves are changing, the air is chilling and somewhere out there, someone is burning leaves and leaving a wonderful smell behind. This time of year always makes me crave apple cider and donuts. Sweaters and boots. Fingerless gloves and the adrenaline of plotting my NaNoWriMo novel.

If you recall this time last year, I was an angst-ridden mess. I didn't know if I would participate in the roller coaster rode of NaNo. I wanted to. I *always* want to. But I wasn't sure if I'd have time, an idea to work with, etc.

This year is different. And not in a way I'm amped about. I've already made my decision about the gloriousness that is NaNoWriMo.

Even though I'm only taking two classes (I dropped my math class - don't judge!), so I've got some extra time on my hands, I'm also working overtime, with crazy hours ranging from shifts that start at 5 a.m, to shifts that end at 3 a.m. I'm always sleepy, almost always cranky, and just all around over being a grown-up.

Other than that, I've joined this amazing writing group which has pushed me to work on the very novel I wrote in the last NaNo I completed. The novel that I've had in the works for at least six years. And I'm making progress on it. I'm excited about it. I feel like this is *the one* and I'm dying to finish it.

And so I've made the very adult decision to sit out this year.

The way I look at it, I'd rather continue work on an already-written novel than to write an all-new rough draft that will require TONS of work. Maybe next year, I'll throw my hand in again. But for now...I will spend the month of November revising.

And I couldn't be more excited about it.

So, what about you? Are you participating NaNoWriMo this year? Do you already have an idea to work with? An outline? Or are you sitting this one out?


Muse Food

I've been making steady progress on the revisions for my Work-in-Progress, and I'm excited. I feel like the new Chapter 1 is the strongest version yet and that I'm definitely getting somewhere.

My muse has been fueled by a playlist of songs I compiled that remind me of my characters and the story they're telling. Here are a couple of the juiciest cuts that get me inspired:

Gavin DeGraw - Run Every Time

I love the overall feeling of this song. Of having something great right in front of you, but being too afraid to grab it with both hands. It captures my main character's inner conflict perfectly.

LeAnn Rimes - What Have I Done

This song is soaked in regret and heartbreak and it just gets to me. I love the line, "Gonna smash every mirror in this empty house, because like you I don't want to see myself." Gah!

Jessica Harp - Over Me

My favorite lines: "She's your growing up, I'm your staying young" While some of these lyrics could be considered wishful thinking on the part of my main character, those two lines describe what's going on so simply: her ex is growing up, moving on. And it hurts.

Matt Nathanson - Kept

I hear this song at the point in my story when my main character does something she shouldn't have done. I love the line "The morning came and it felt like truth."

The last one I'm gonna share with you hit me like a brick the first time I heard it. I love Michelle Branch and I wish we heard more from her. Her new music is fantastic, and this song has inspired many hours of furious typing away on my laptop.

Michelle Branch - Summertime

I love the nostalgic feeling of this. The bittersweet taste of looking back and remembering someone. The parts that spoke to me the most were, "I heard she's wearing a shiny diamond ring, I guess you're finally moving on," and "Kissing underneath the moonlight, discovering things we never thought we'd find." This song is so, so good!

So there you have it. A peek at the playlist revolving inside my head. There are dozens more songs. Maybe I'll share more with you later! Now, back to work!

Do you make playlists for your Works-in-Progress? Or do you write in silence? Maybe instrumental instead of songs with lyrics? What feeds YOUR Muse?


Back to the Drawing Board

I've been trying my hand at another version of Chapter One in my wip lately. I've lost count on how many versions of the first chapter are floating around on my hard drive. Why is it so hard to find the right place to begin your story? Do any of you have this issue?

This particular version has my story opening in a place I've tried before. On the advice of my writing group, I decided to give it another go. It may be a better place to open than my last attempt at Chapter One.

I'm really enjoying having a writing group. I love reading all their work, even if sometimes I kind of hate them because they're so good (I'm looking at you, Jeannie). And the feedback I've gotten from them has been great. It's awesome to have people to talk to about writing. They just get it, you know?

In other news, Summer Semester came to a rough end. I'm relieved to have a few weeks off from school work. I kind of wish I'd taken a semester off. I'm feeling a wee bit burned out, you know? School, work, homework. That's all my life has consisted of for so long now I've forgotten that there's anything else to life. It's a good thing Dana's patient or else she'd have kicked my butt to the curb months ago for neglecting all things relationship and home related. I really lucked out with that one, that's for sure.

So, what about you? What have you been up to? Enjoying your summer? Getting lots of reading and writing done?



Why, Hello There

So, rumor has it I promised a real, live blog post almost a month ago. And by "rumor has it," I mean, I just read my last entry and winced at the lies that spewed from my fingers. But I'm a writer, right? And I write fiction. Which means lies are allowed to spew from my fingers.

...right?

Anyway, I thought it was about time I stop neglecting my poor blog and make more than appearance.

Life has been hectic, to say the least. Between working full time, super crazy hours, and taking two summer classes, anytime I'm at home, all I want to do is sleep. But who needs sleep? Certainly not me.

Remember this post?

Well, shortly after I hit Publish, I found a post on my local NaNoWriMo forum about a writing group. A sent an email and a week or so later, I found myself a proud, giddy member of Pigasus Pen, a writing group comprised of four ladies with a passion for writing. Jeannie, of The Magic Nutshell, sums us up so well in her post: Pigasus Pen.

Thus far,I've only attended one meeting, with our next scheduled for next Sunday, but so far, I am thrilled to be among such smart, amazing, word-loving ladies. Outside of the Internet, I've never known another writer, so I'm looking forward to each and every meeting. The accountability and deadlines will help keep me on track with my writing, and the critiques are bound to bring new light to issues I've struggled with in my novel.

Outside of that wonderful news, I took a promotion at work. Yes, I'd mentioned looking for another job, but I was offered the promotion with better benefits than I was expecting, and since I've still got another 2 years or so before I'm finished with my Bachelor's, and then I've got to find a new job afterwards, I figured, why not? It will look good on my resume and give me leadership experience. Plus, I know the job inside-out already, so I may as well get paid more, right?

I also decided to give running a try. I've only done it three times so far, but I'm not dying and I don't hate it, so here's hoping it sticks!

I believe that about sums up the last couple months of my life. I'm excited about the next couple!

What about you? What have you been up to this summer? Have you been as busy as me? How's your writing going?



PSA



We interrupt your hectic Monday morning with the announcement that this blogger is, in fact, still alive. She's just been consumed by work and homework and a busy, busy birthday weekend. (Don't ask, she won't tell you how old she is.)

She promises to post a proper update with in the next week or so.

Now, we will return to your regularly scheduled programs.

Have a super Monday!

Plotting

I was putzing around on the internet this morning in an effort to procrastinate and I stumbled across this really cool post about plotting fiction:

9 Steps for Plotting Fiction

I'm mapping out my own work-in-progress before heading to work for the gazillionth day in a row. Hopefully it turns out to be as helpful as it looks like it will be!

Have a great weekend, everyone!

Writing Groups


I couldn't help thinking the other day, as Dana and I wandered into Panera to get some yummy lunch, that it would be a good place for a writing group. Which led to thoughts about how I don't have a writing group. And I would really like a writing group.

A few times here and there, I've gone to the group that meets every week at a coffee shop. I met them via NaNoWriMo. But I haven't attended often enough to feel part of the group. I'd really like a group that I feel comfortable in. A group that focuses more on writing than just hanging out. A group that is all at once motivational and encouraging, while cracking the whip to keep me writing.

Is that too much to ask?

Do you have a writing group? Online or in-person? How did you find said group?

Balancing Act

Summer semester starts in just over two weeks and I'm just now starting to get back into the swing of things, regarding my writing. I've finally jumped back into my story from the beginning. I'm keeping notes as I read, jotting down things I think I could change, ways to fix overall issues, etc. I'm getting excited again.

I'm a little bummed that it's taken me so long. After all, once Summer semester starts, I may not have enough free time to continue work on my novel. Then again, I'm only taking two classes this time -- I learned my lesson last year. I will never take four classes over the summer again. But I start training for a promotion at work in a week or two, so there's extra work and studying time.

I often wonder if I'm crazy to pursue this dream of writing. It's become clear over the last year or so that it's damn near impossible for me to balance life and writing. My writing has suffered because of school. As much as I love my story and characters, I had a really hard time jumping back into it when I had free time. It scares me, the idea of giving up writing because of everything else going on. Writing is my first love. It's my dream. My passion. I can't live without it. When I'm not writing, I'm thinking about writing. When I'm not writing, I'm feeling guilty. When I'm not writing, I'm feeling sad. Words have gotten me through a lot in my life and I feel like I owe it to myself to hold onto them.

But I've got to finish school. I've got to work. I've got to be a grown up.

I want a full life with a good job, a house, kids. The whole shebang. But I'm worried about how I will have all that AND my dream.

Dreams are tricky little buggers, aren't they?

So, for all of you out there who are managing to balance life and writing, whether you're going to school like me, or already have your home and family and job, how do you do it? Any advice? Words of encouragement? I'm dying to know!

Phew!

Hey there! So, last Thursday marked the end of Spring Semester for me. I survived, though I'm not entirely sure how. What did I learn, you ask? Well, here are a few things:

* Math labs were not made for the perpetual procrastinators.
* Homework, if left for the day it's due, will inevitably suffer in quality.
* On the other hand, a speech, if thrown together in an organized fashion and practiced half a dozen times that morning, will turn out just fine.
* Sleep is for sissies.
* Although lack of sleep makes me one cranky lady.

I'm sad to say that my gorgeous 3.89 GPA suffered this semester. I won't know just HOW much until my math professor puts my grade in (for the love of God, lady! Put my grade in! I'm FREAKING out here!!). But I'm alive. And I didn't fail any of my classes. So, there is that.

I'm dying to get back to my revisions. I've worked through my novel about a dozen times now, and I've gone through my list of minor revisions. But I've got one or two big changes to work on, one of which I'm still not sure how to approach, even after all this time away. Don't you hate that? When you know what you've got to do but you just don't know HOW to do it? It's frustrating as all get out, isn't it?

There's a part of me that is worried I've forgotten how to do this thing called writing. I've done nothing but Algebra and Excel spreadsheets and extemporaneous speeches written on flash cards for months that it feels like the creative part of my brain has shriveled up. Not to mention, I'm about to start training for a promotion at work soon, which is going to do nothing to jump start my sleepy brain.

So here's my question for you: How do you revive that part of your brain after not using it for so long? How do you wake up your tired, cobweb-covered muse and get back to work? I've got a month until I start summer classes and I'd love to wrap up my novel with a pretty, pretty bow. I'm just a little unsure where to start. Advice is welcome!

Also, what do you think of my new layout? Isn't it pretty?

A-Z Opt Out

Tomorrow starts the A-Z Blogfest and I'm sad to say, I don't think I'll be participating. I want to. I really want to. But I've got so much going on right now that I don't think I have time. I'll definitely enjoy seeing what everyone comes up with, though. I'm sure it's going to be a blast! I seriously can't wait until this semester is over. I've been behind in my math class for pretty much the entire semester, and I've prepared more than one of my speeches VERY last minute. I'm drowning in homework and so stressed I'm sure I've gotten a ton of new gray hairs (ya know, beneath the dye). On top of homework, I haven't written a single word on either of my WIPs. I've got a few more tweaks in one of them before its finished, and I'm dying -- DYING -- to get to it. Alas, homework and work hogs all my time. I really miss writing. All this time away from it is making me sad. On a brighter note, I can cross one thing off from my New Year's Resolution list! I GOT MY LICENSE!!! After years without it and two (yes, two) failed road tests, I am on the road. And I can't believe I didn't get my license sooner. I mean, how did I live without it?

The Strangest Thing (Or, What I Bought at the Bookstore)

I got a gift card for Christmas. Fifty big ones to spend at a local book store - my favorite kind of gift to receive. I finally made the trip on Tuesday to use it, and I found myself scooping up titles that, this time last year, I never would have considered. I love to read all kinds of books, but my fallback has always been Romance. I fell in love with this genre years and years ago, and I still love it today. But Tuesday, I only bought one romance. This one:
Believe It Or Not by Tawna Fenske

I LOVED Tawna's first novel, Making Waves, so I HAD to buy her next. I can't wait to dive in! Other than that, all my other purchases were from the Young Adult/Teen Fiction section:









 Like I said, these are very strange purchases for me. I steered away from this type of book when I was a teen, and, well, pretty much always. Until The Hunger Games. Now, I'm curious. Now, I'm excited. Now, I just may be in love. This most certainly doesn't mean I'm going to join the ranks of Young Adult writers out there. No, I'm still madly in love with the Romance genre and I simply MUST write it. But that doesn't mean I can't enjoy other genres, right? 

  So, what about you? Have your reading habits changed? Your writing? Have you read any of these books? Do you have any recommendations?













Monday Mixtape: Whitney Houston

Do any of you remember the first time you heard Whitney Houston sing?

If you're like me, this is it:


I loved belting out this song when I was a kid, then as I grew up, I learned to appreciate how well-written the song was and how powerful the voice behind it was.

It broke my heart when I found out Whitney passed away. I was rooting for her to conquer her demons, and it is just so, so sad that she's gone. So, in memory of the woman with the spectacular voice and bright smile, here are a couple more of her songs:





And, a tearful, heartfelt tribute from LeAnn Rimes:


Thank you, Whitney, for sharing your gift with the world.